~ Integrative Leadership by Design

Posts tagged ‘behavioral patterns’

Finding Your Tribe

A Lifestyle Leadership blog…

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Living the lifestyle of an Expat is not for everyone. If I had to choose just 1 thing that I learned thus far on the journey it would be the importance of finding your Tribe.

Of course, this holds true in life, wherever we are, however, it became a beacon after uprooting ourselves from everyone and everything we knew from Canada. I remember a time about 10 years ago when a group of us were sitting around a friend’s dining room table in Vancouver getting to know one another and one of us mused aloud how nice this was. Our conversation quickly became about friendships and what brought us all together. Curiously, although perhaps not so much, we were all looking to make some like-minded friends in the boating community. A Tribe was born and over the years, some new folks joined us, some of us moved away and some just moved on.

Abraham Maslow’s pyramid, pictured below, recognizes love/belonging at the center of one’s hierarchy of human needs. Finding our Tribes, both in the workplace and in our personal lives brings a sense of connection with one’s life.
Maslow
The Gallup engagement survey poses the statement “I have a best friend at work”. It’s a short survey, only 12 statements. A testament to the meaning of feeling connected, cared about, and in turn caring about someone in the workplace. It’s about being vulnerable and trusting that there is someone watching out for you, someone you can lean on and vice versa. When we have these connections in our work environments, we will tend to be more confident, take more risks and be more engaged. Imagine a whole team functioning at this level? Tribes in the workplace will provide the foundation for creativity and innovation and best of all will collaborate at a higher frequency forging new futures together.

  • Do you have a close friend at work that you trust?
  • Is your team a tribe or a group of co-workers?
  • Are you nurturing the relationships in your personal tribes?

Enjoying a cup of tea with a friend in the afternoon or meeting up with friends for some lively conversation and laughter. It’s not a matter of will we gather, but when and where. Our tribes will take on many variations over our lifetimes and one thing is for sure – we are better people when we have connection and belonging in our lives, both in our work and at home.

Carolyn Myss states it quite simply,
“We evolve at the rate of the tribe we’re plugged into”. 

If you’d like to connect for a more in depth conversation, give me a call or email me and we can talk about designing a lifestyle and leadership development plan and relationship that is unique for you and/or your team. I would love to hear from you!

Live inspired!

Gisele
919-809-6902
Email me

Aligning….
Purpose – Perseverance – Passion

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Lifestyle & Change – Expat Style

A Lifestyle Leadership blog…

It is liberating and terrifying to leave familiar worlds to explore new ones.

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Adventure is a path. Real adventure – self-determined, self-motivated, often risky – forces you to have firsthand encounters with the world. The world the way it is, not the way you imagine it. Your body will collide with the earth and you will bear witness. In this way you will be compelled 
to grapple with the limitless kindness and bottomless cruelty of humankind – and perhaps 
realize that you yourself are capable of both. This will change you. Nothing will ever again be black-and-white.  –Mark Jenkins

Change…. whether chosen or chosen for you is not always an easy path.  When we lean into change and the often resulting discomfort, we are building new neuropathways.  The more we practice our new patterns the less awkward we feel.  It’s like going back to the gym after a hiatus and doing a set of dumbbell shoulder presses.  The movement is all herky jerky because the neural pathway isn’t deeply set.  We’ve been on a break after all and our brains were busy myelinating other pathways, as this one remained dormant and began to dissipate.  The more we practice the more we add an insulative coating of myelin that wraps around nerve fibers in our brains.  This increased myelin affects the signal strength, speed and accuracy of the electric signals traveling through these nerve fibers. This is why, over time and deep practice, the movement once again becomes fluid and smooth.

The following video accurately highlights the dedication to this fine artform of deep practice. Sit back and enjoy.  I guarantee – you’ll love it!

So, back to leaning into change expat style…

Upon first arriving in Bermuda, we learned that taking the written drivers theory exam was something that needed to happen very soon if driving on the island was to be in our future.  Add to this, driving on the left side of the road (different from Canada) and also sitting on the right side of the vehicle while driving (again a change) and we had a recipe for a lot of new neuropathways to be developed!  Practice, practice, practice and I’m happy to say I am now the proud holder of a Bermudian driver’s licence!  You know, it’s taken me about 6 months to truly feel comfortable driving here.  A testament to the myelination process for sure!!

Stepping outside our comfort zones and altering our lives in small and large ways is a reminder that we have not reached our full potential and that we are still capable of evolving to higher levels of consciousness.  Often times, amongst the chaotic change lie great opportunities for positive growth. The challenge is creating enough calm amidst the chaos to see a clear direction.

Have you ever felt STUCK?  Doing something creative and/or simply just going for a walk could be all that is needed to shift the energy. Science says you release compounds such as dopamine, serotonin and norepinephrine when you raise your heart rate.  We all know the feeling of increased endorphins after we do something strenuous.  Those walks and the resulting elevated endorphins will assist in clearing the fog and from this clarity you’ll be better equipped to focus in on that something creative shifting your energy.

Remember being a kid and going to the doctor for a needle or procedure? Ever have a doctor or nurse tell you something wasn’t going to hurt only to be writhing in pain seconds later? The more you resist the change you need to make, the more it will hurt.

So do yourself a favor. Lean in and start laying down some new myelin.

Live inspired!

Gisele
919-809-6902
Email me

Aligning….
Purpose – Perseverance – Passion

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Creating a Vision Board for Success

A Lifestyle Leadership blog…

When is the last time you created a vision board?  

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Re-member Re-juvenate Re-calibrate Re-vision

A Vision Board:  Integrating all of who you have been, are today and are creating for your current and future experience;  WOW – all that from a vision board?  Absolutely and so much more!! Embodying and manifesting your energy field are a couple of very powerful methods you can engage with to fully land in the space of what you want to create and in turn project.

Years ago when Mike and I started the conversation about living in a tropical place he loaded one of the standard images from his Microsoft desktop photos of a palm tree on a tropical beach to our shared laptop.  Little did we know how powerful this was going to be for both of us in manifesting what we were both wanting to create for ourselves.  It works subconsciously and synergistically with your whole vibrational energy field. You might be wondering what I mean when I refer to a vibrational energy field.  

Here’s my best description.  When you’re sad, people around you can feel your sadness same as if you’re really happy.  Have you ever walked into a room and just felt a vibe that you didn’t like and want to walk right out again?  That’s the energy field.  And one of my favorite analogies…. “I’m waiting for the right time to talk with my boss about a raise.”  That right time?  You got it – that would be the vibrational energy field that you feel as a quantifiable measurement in gauging that right time.

Check out Simon Sinek’s TEDx talk which highlighted his groundbreaking ideas and reasons for sourcing one’s “WHY” also referred to as Purpose.

Inspired leaders and/or organizations operate from the inside out.  I love this quote from Simon’s talk: “People don’t buy what you do, they buy WHY you do it!”  Think about this for a moment….  People want to do business with you because of what you believe. Connecting intrinsically and emotionally is the catalyst for gut and intuitive decisions. Every hear yourself say “It just feels right?” In Simon speak, this is the law of diffusion of innovation. Start with your WHY and envision your dream into reality.

If you’d like to connect for a more in depth conversation, give me a call or email me and we can talk about designing a lifestyle and leadership development plan and relationship that is unique for you and/or your team. I would love to hear from you!

Live inspired!

Gisele
919-809-6902
Email me

Aligning….
Purpose – Perseverance – Passion

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4 Levels of Human Development – Part 4

A Lifestyle Leadership blog…

church bay sunset 2 w wordsPreviously, in the series on 4 Levels of Human Development, we’ve explored Part 1: Know Yourself and Part 2: Choose Yourself and Part 3: Create Yourself.

In the final post in the series on The 4 Levels of Human Development we will focus on
Level 4:  Share Yourself”

What is the experience you want from life?

To share yourself openly, all parts of yourself in a transparent and vulnerable way is to be authentically you.  It takes courage to be “spiritually naked”.  Not just expressing the good parts, the healed and healthy parts.  It means to express all of your vulnerable, lost and lonely, curious, confused and even some of the parts we don’t like about ourselves.

To live behind a mask can be a lonely existence.  Take a pause for a moment and think about this.  If you’re not emotionally available to others, how can they be emotionally available to you? If you haven’t revealed how someone can be there for you, then how will anyone know what is really going on? The flip side of this is how will you know if there is something that you may contribute for someone?  Lost opportunities for connection, community and deepened relationships on both sides.

When we embrace our wholeness, others will also.  Trusting people who you are in community with and setting healthy boundaries is akin to feeling like being with a fellow traveler on life’s journey; a kindred spirit.  If we hoard ourselves – our gifts, our talents, our love, our thoughts, our feelings, our insights, our words – we are inhibiting our own experience of life. But if we give fully, with abandon and love, our energy field expands, intermingling with and raising the collective vibrational fields and consciousness of other souls.  Yes, I believe one person can make a difference.

Who you are being will determine the experience you receive.  Checking in with your energy can be a powerful exercise of choice as each day begins.  Some questions you may want to ask yourself might be:

  • Am I being authentic?
  • How do I want to be remembered?
  • Am I awake to choosing my experience?

To share yourself is to include others on your journey.

“Be the lighthouse for your vision, inspiring others to join.” —Deepak Chopra

What is needed here now?

Gisele
919-809-6902
Email me

Aligning….
Purpose – Perseverance – Passion

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Making a Difference….

Living in the Tropics; life and leadership lessons explored

When Mike and I first re-located to Bermuda, a trip into town on our scooter was an adventure that we both looked forward to. Upon approaching the gateway into the city we were often greeted by a man on the side of the road waving frantically with both arms and calling out “Have a nice day!” and “I love you!”. He had a big floppy hat and a full white beard, and wore an ear-to-ear grin. Who was this? Some lunatic with nothing better to do?

Suddenly on one excursion into town we noticed a life-sized statue on our left, of a man  waving…. Could these be connected? We got curious and started asking our friends and neighbors about the history behind a story that has turned out to be one of Bermuda’s most famous stories of genuineness and gratitude.

Johnny BarnesThe man’s name is Johnny Barnes, and far from being an aimless wanderer, he is a man who lives to selflessly give to others. As commuters are driving in to work, Johnny is there to welcome them to town and start their day off with a smile and positivity. He shows up at 3:45am and stays until 10:00am, every workday, rain or shine. He has done this continuously, since 1986, when he was already 60 years old!

We all have it within us to give of ourselves, or “pay it forward” with no expectation of reward. It can be something as small as holding a door for someone, as large as Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg donating 2/3 of his salary to charity every year, or as puzzling and beautiful as Johnny Barnes showing up every morning to spread the love to his fellow islanders.

Check out this video and notice how acts of kindness; big or small can make a difference.

A new year is upon us. As you reflect on 2012, some questions you may choose to reflect on might be…

  • Am I leading my life by example?
  • Am I walking my talk?
  • How can I make a difference?

Remember, who you are being will determine your experience.

What is needed here now?

Gisele
919-809-6902

Aligning….
Purpose – Perseverance – Passion

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The Power of Our Patterns….

Living in the Tropics; life and leadership lessons explored

Why do we do what we do?

Ever hear yourself lament, “I did it again.  When will I learn?” What compels us to repeat the same patterns which can be the cause of emotional pain, heartache even poor health…. repeatedly over our lifetimes?

Some may think that living in the tropics, all your problems and frustrations vanish on the ocean breeze.  True, the environment does help with perspective and attitude, however, issues, habits and roadblocks are still part of the picture, just with a different frame.  Our habits and patterns follow us wherever we go.

Charles Duhigg shares with us in “The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business”  that there are 3 components to understanding our habits:

1)   The Cue
2)   The Routine
3)   The Reward

Check out this video by Duhigg as he explores the 3 components.

For many years, my colleagues and I have been studying “Why” we do what we do. Fueling one’s soul in a day brings energy, light, fulfillment and joy, right?  But what happens if when following our bliss, we fall into a cyclical pattern that causes us to become off center?  Suddenly the joy is turning to frustration and downward we go.

It is at this point where one can take a pause, slowing down to notice (and reflect on) habits and patterns. This is a great way to use axiology in real time. Let’s break down the 3 components of our habits; the cue is our thought (systemic), the routine is what we do (extrinsic) and the reward is our why, our greater purpose (intrinsic).

You may ask yourself….

  • Am I experiencing states of disconnect or frustration?
  • Is there anything in my life causing me to push myself off center?
  • Can I envision a repeated pattern emerging?

Breaking down a habit/pattern and looking at it with a subjective viewpoint can help us gain clarity, self- awareness and perhaps even acceptance for whatever we are experiencing in life.  Know what your cue is, explore your routines and check in with what your reward is.  Give it a try and see what comes up for you.  You never know what barrier you may break through….

What is needed here now?

Gisele
919-809-6902

Aligning….
Purpose – Perseverance – Passion