~ Integrative Leadership by Design

Posts tagged ‘impermanence’

Stepping Stones

A Lifestyle Leadership Blog…

Stepping Stones; those moments in our lives that give us a placeholder by which to measure surrounding events. They forever change us and represent a variety of experiences.

With the dawning of social media, the option to share these events with our circle of VIP’s all at once has become a reality should we choose these forums. Recently I opted to add the second timeline post to my Facebook page positioning just such a placeholder. Facebook calls them “life events”. Our daughter and her husband gave life to our first grandchild, Ivy. This little bundle of joy has forever altered their paths highlighting a joyous life event that touches many lives in their circle.

While visiting in Vancouver after this blessed event, I had the opportunity to spend some time with my BFF between Ivy bonding visits. We got to talking one afternoon about this very subject and she referenced two of her recent life event placeholders. BBC; before breast cancer and ABC; after breast cancer. Heartbreaking and joyous life events forever altering perspectives and choices on her path as well as touching the lives of those close to her.

Stepping stones in life give us the opportunity to take a pause and notice the direction our path is taking us. My favorite all time coaching question, “What is here now?” comes to mind as we slow down and take that pause in time to get centered. Whether these life events happen directly to us or to those we are intimately connected to, they will often provide an opportunity for deep self reflection, interpersonal growth and lessons learned. Some questions you may ask yourself might be…

• Is it time for a course correction?
• Is there something not yet complete?
• Is it a moment in time to re-evaluate core beliefs?

The decisions we make during these life altering moments can forever shape a new path. So take the time – be present and choose from a place of centered love. We never know where the next stepping stone in life is going to take us, sometimes we can prepare for them and sometimes they just show up. Either way, how we respond will ultimately determine our experience of the current and future events surrounding these momentous placeholders.

If you’d like to connect for a more in depth conversation, give me a call or email me and we can talk about designing a lifestyle and leadership development plan and relationship that is unique for you and/or your team. I would love to hear from you!

Live inspired!



Email me

Purpose – Perseverance – Passion



4 Levels of Human Development – Part 3

A Lifestyle Leadership blog….

dandelion1with words

Previously, in the series on 4 Levels of Human Development, we’ve explored Part 1: Know Yourself and Part 2: Choose Yourself.

In Part 3 of the series, we’re going to explore
Level 3: “Create Yourself”

Olympic athletes hire coaches.  Professional teams hire coaches. Fortune 500 executives hire coaches.

Getting better in what I do in a day resonates and it just felt like time to raise my own bar as a Coach.  The study of neuroscience, consciousness and transformational change in service to coaching relationships is where much of my energy is currently being focused.  Aligning with a Coach and exploring this arena has been like an injection of purpose and energy all at once.  I have to say, completing my intake document setting the platform for our coaching relationship was a rather surreal experience.  To see it all in black and white as it were, kind of set me back on my keester, not to mention how honoring and humbling it was.  As we’ve been working through some initial exercises together, I’m having a re-embracing of the profound benefits that coaching during change can bring to us.

Hitting the reset button on self can be described as exhilarating, fun, energizing, courageous and downright terrifying all at once.  Crossing those places of familiarity and stepping forward into the unknown or perhaps just something different presents us with a kaleidoscope of emotions.   Growth always occurs out of our comfort zone and finding a way to strengthen your relationship with uncertainty will be your ally as you continue to traverse change.

Jeffrey Gaines has given us a fantastic song inspiring us to source the hero within ourselves while embracing one’s heavy lifting.  Have a listen to “Hero In Me”

Let’s discuss what it means to “Walk Your Talk”.

QBQ book coverSometimes we know exactly what needs to happen or what we need to do to create what we envision.  Other times, not so much. There are a myriad of books in this arena and one that I adore leaning on is “QBQ: The Question Behind the Question” by John Miller.  What is so perfect about QBQ is that it helps harness that enthusiasm and assist the reader in narrowing their focus while remaining curious to what they are creating.

Transforming from our current reality of what is and who we are to our next version of self and reality can at times be overwhelming.  Often times enthusiasm is very high at this level and the energy can sometimes show up as scattered and frenzied.  A few of the key opportunities of note at this level of development reside in the places of purpose, perseverance and passion.  Being intentional and accountable to self with what you want to create requires focus.  Some questions you may ask yourself or perhaps journal on might be….

  • How can I bring value?
  • What do I need to do be intentional?
  • Who am I being?

Stay tuned for Part 4 of The 4 Levels of Human Development: “Share Yourself”.  In the meantime if you’d like to connect for a more in depth conversation, give me a call or email me and we can talk about designing a lifestyle and leadership coaching relationship that is unique for you and/or your team. I would love to hear from you!

What is needed here now?

Email me

Purpose – Perseverance – Passion


The Power of Our Patterns….

Living in the Tropics; life and leadership lessons explored

Why do we do what we do?

Ever hear yourself lament, “I did it again.  When will I learn?” What compels us to repeat the same patterns which can be the cause of emotional pain, heartache even poor health…. repeatedly over our lifetimes?

Some may think that living in the tropics, all your problems and frustrations vanish on the ocean breeze.  True, the environment does help with perspective and attitude, however, issues, habits and roadblocks are still part of the picture, just with a different frame.  Our habits and patterns follow us wherever we go.

Charles Duhigg shares with us in “The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business”  that there are 3 components to understanding our habits:

1)   The Cue
2)   The Routine
3)   The Reward

Check out this video by Duhigg as he explores the 3 components.

For many years, my colleagues and I have been studying “Why” we do what we do. Fueling one’s soul in a day brings energy, light, fulfillment and joy, right?  But what happens if when following our bliss, we fall into a cyclical pattern that causes us to become off center?  Suddenly the joy is turning to frustration and downward we go.

It is at this point where one can take a pause, slowing down to notice (and reflect on) habits and patterns. This is a great way to use axiology in real time. Let’s break down the 3 components of our habits; the cue is our thought (systemic), the routine is what we do (extrinsic) and the reward is our why, our greater purpose (intrinsic).

You may ask yourself….

  • Am I experiencing states of disconnect or frustration?
  • Is there anything in my life causing me to push myself off center?
  • Can I envision a repeated pattern emerging?

Breaking down a habit/pattern and looking at it with a subjective viewpoint can help us gain clarity, self- awareness and perhaps even acceptance for whatever we are experiencing in life.  Know what your cue is, explore your routines and check in with what your reward is.  Give it a try and see what comes up for you.  You never know what barrier you may break through….

What is needed here now?


Purpose – Perseverance – Passion

Transformation & The Space In Between…

Living in the Tropics; life and leadership lessons explored…

“You have to reject one expression of [the band] first, before you get to the next expression. In between you have nothing, you have to risk it all”    — Bono

Insert ‘your life’ or ‘your company’ for [the band] and it just brings goosebumps doesn’t it? This was such a powerful quote that esteemed filmmaker Davis Guggenheim positioned it twice in the U2 documentary “From the Sky Down.”

Relocating from Vancouver to Bermuda, I found myself in the space between in my search for a clearer picture of this new reality reflective of lifestyle choices. The gift was in slowing down and being present to heart, mind and body intelligence. However painful it felt and was for me; this traversing from one version of self to another, integrating change from the places of humility, gratitude, forgiveness, intuition, creativity and above all else, LOVE — a new map of life became clearer with each new day.

A favorite book that comes to mind is “hope for the flowers” by Trina Paulus. It is a story of hope and the integration process, within the space in between, as Stripe and Yellow journey from being caterpillars to butterflies.

The Integration process is about redrawing your map of life and filling the empty space with new meaning. With all things in life being impermanent, this process requires the need for you to rebuild confidence and develop acceptance and resilience. The secret of resilience is the ability to see a crisis, or space in between as an opportunity for a new beginning. Remember, a new beginning can only happen when the old form disintegrates.

Some questions you may ask when you find yourself exploring the space in between:

  • What have I learned?
  • How will I fill the space with meaning?
  • Who am I being?

Sometimes it’s not about letting go, it’s about letting it be. We can’t force the events in our lives; all we can do is be present to the flow. Even in the darkest hours of life—if we are truly present—joy shines in the depths…

May joy follow and surround you everywhere.


Purpose – Perseverance – Passion